SQL
// DENIS_MOOD.SQL
"Warum hat Denis die Beziehung beendet?"
SELECT * FROM relationships
WHERE trust IS NOT NULL;
→ 0 rows returned 💔
SQL
// INFINITE_LOOP.SQL
Denis' Lieblings-SQL-Query:
DROP TABLE expectations;
-- Fehler: Table 'expectations' doesn't exist
-- Denis: "Story of my life..."
😅 NULL POINTER TO HAPPINESS
PYTHON
// DENIS_LIFE.PY
Denis' Dating Leben erklärt:
try:
relationship = find_love()
except LoveNotFoundError:
import alcohol
alcohol.drink()
finally:
print("Hello darkness my old friend")
🐍 EXCEPTION HANDLED SUCCESSFULLY
PYTHON
// COFFEE_OVERFLOW.PY
Denis am Montagmorgen:
while not awake:
coffee += 1
if coffee > 10:
raise CaffeineOverflowError("Denis.exe stopped working")
# TODO: Fix this in production
☕ STACK OVERFLOW IN PROGRESS
SQL
// JOIN_DISASTER.SQL
Denis versucht Tabellen zu joinen:
SELECT brain.cells
FROM denis
LEFT JOIN sleep ON denis.id = sleep.never
WHERE coffee.amount < infinity;
-- ERROR: Brain.cells is deprecated since 2020
🧠 CARTESIAN PRODUCT OF CONFUSION
PYTHON
// BUG_FEATURES.PY
Denis' Code-Philosophie:
class DenisCode:
def __init__(self):
self.bugs = float('inf')
self.documentation = None
def fix_bug(self):
# It's not a bug, it's a feature™
pass
🐛 WORKING AS INTENDED
SQL
// DELETE_PROBLEMS.SQL
Denis löst alle Probleme:
DELETE FROM problems WHERE 1=1;
-- Ausgeführt. 99999 rows affected.
ROLLBACK;
-- ERROR: Life has no ROLLBACK function
⚠️ COMMIT OR QUIT
PYTHON
// RECURSION_HELL.PY
Denis erklärt Rekursion:
def understand_recursion():
if denis.understands:
return "Never gonna happen"
else:
return understand_recursion()
# RecursionError: Denis stack overflow
♾️ SEE RECURSION → SEE RECURSION
SQL
// GROUP_BY_PAIN.SQL
Denis' Gefühlslage:
SELECT emotion, COUNT(*) as frequency
FROM denis_feelings
GROUP BY emotion
HAVING frequency > 0
ORDER BY pain DESC;
-- 1. Confusion: 9999
-- 2. Caffeine_addiction: 404
📊 AGGREGATED SUFFERING